Girlfriend Gaffe 1: Creating-Discussion Syndrome
You know the scene: Your guy is becoming suspiciously quiet (your interpretation), so you ask if everything’s okay. He says he’s fine, but that doesn’t seem like an adequate answer, so you ask again and again and again. “If I do something that doesn’t involve communicating one-on-one with my girlfriend—like watching TV or reading a book—she automatically jumps to the conclusion that there’s a problem and I’m pissed off,” says William, 31.

Relationship RX: The truth is, the majority of men aren’t as chatty as women. While you may love to sit down and gab with your girlfriends, guys aren’t as hardwired that way. So if he seems quiet or isn’t as communicative as you are, don’t assume he’s annoyed. “If you’ve just had a fight and he stops talking, it could mean he’s not coming clean about his feelings,” says Holly C. Hein, Ph.D., author of Sexual Detours: Infidelity and Intimacy at the Crossroads (St. Martin’s Press, 2000). “But if he’s just being quiet, respect that—don’t personalize it or take it as a red flag that the relationship is failing.”

Girlfriend Gaffe 2: Going Out Cash-Free
“My girlfriend has a habit of always ‘forgetting’ to go to the bank when we go out,” says Greg, 27. “She never has more than fifty bucks in her purse at any given time. Coincidence? I don’t think so.” Sure, guys like to play the sugar daddy sometimes, but the “I couldn’t find an ATM” excuse gets old fast.

Relationship RX: “Most men enjoy paying for things; they just don’t want to feel expected to do so,” says Bonnie Eaker Weil, Ph.D., author of Make Up, Don’t Break Up (Adams Media Corp., 1999). “If a woman assumes her boyfriend is always going to pick up the tab, he’ll start to feel used and become insecure about the true nature of the relationship.” Even if you’re dating Mr. Moneybags, try ‘kidnapping’ him and taking him to his favorite restaurant, advises Weil. If you want to be treated like a princess, it’s only fair that you spoil him once in a while too.

Girlfriend Gaffe 3: Crying to Curtail Combat
A guy will say almost anything—whether he means it or not—to do damage control during a sobfest. “I hate the crying game,” says Derek, 29. “When my girlfriend and I argue, we never deal with the issue at hand because she always starts bawling.”

Relationship RX: No, men don’t think you should never weep; they just wish you could rein in your emotions during serious discussions so things don’t get sidetracked. “Men become paralyzed when they see a woman cry,” says Weil. Plus, if you turn on the waterworks in the middle of a blowout, he may begin to wonder if you’re relying on tears to settle the squabble.

Labels: I Keep Love Real, UAP, University of Asia and the Pacific