Boy Meets Girl. Boy and Girl Fall in Love. Then Boy and Girl Get Married.
The "Real Love Cycle" can be divided into these outrageously schmaltzy but valid stages. It always starts with acquaintance, or getting to know the person, and eventually flourishes into a family.

What I'm really trying to say here is that Dating or Courtship should be practiced with a view towards marriage. The goal here is finding a lifetime commitment. The ever after. Yes, you heard it right, it's there specifically to test the waters for tying the knot. Boy and Girl might be dating. Boy and Girl might be "in a relationship" in the eyes of their parents, friends, school, even in Friendster, Multiply or Facebook, but a Real Relationship has its eye on a Real Future.

Ever wonder why some pairs break up so easily? These relationships are not real. Real in the sense that, at the onset of their relationship, they didn't commit to that one clear, vital direction. There was no view towards marriage. They were there for a vague reason. It is just there for the purpose of comfort, for emotional need, to comply with societal pressures, to make oneself feel good/loved or at some point, for lust. Some mischievous people are there for the thrill of the chase. Ultimately, these relationships are only temporary. This is why they don't work out.
When dating/courting someone, one essential question is needed to be answered by you: "Is this the person I want to marry?" or "Do I see myself together with this person for the rest of my life?"

If your answer is no, I suggest you spare yourselves the trouble, and be real to yourselves. A relationship is an investment of time, energy, emotion, and resources. Would you be willing to pour all of that for a relationship that you don't see yourself in, in the future? Just move on. Parting ways might be the best gift you can give to both of you. If you are not ready to answer the question yet, then you are probably not ready for Real Dating.
So remember to always ask yourself that essential question when dating someone. Is there a clear possibility of a future?

Your future depends on it.

Labels: dating, defining love, marriage

Posted by Neil Lavalle at 10:38 AM | 0 Comment/s